Not me, but TD. One minute she wants to help me plan the wedding, the next she's apparently telling her mom that her dad doesn't love her anymore because he spends time with me. Aaargh.
My pipes froze this past weekend. I was very irritated and pretty much at a loss about what to do. I tell NG and he has all kinds of ideas and gets all excited to come fix it. What a hoot he is sometimes......give the man a reason to go to Lowes and he's like a kid in a candy store. He comes over, TD in tow (his weekend), with heat tape (didn't know that existed) and insulation. Turns out the freezing was actually in my well. It doesn't usually get this cold here, it's been in the teens and single digits at night and not above freezing during the day for over a week. Brrrrr. My house was clearly not built for this. So NG comes over and while he's outside, TD and I had some time together. We made cookies, went to Wendy's for take-out, and generally just palled around. It was really fun! She wanted to know when we're getting married, asked twice, and when I told her we would let her know, she said she needed to know soon because she had plans to make. She said she needed to find flowers, "people to come", "you need a dress!!!", and "tables and chairs and stuff". She was cracking us up. She wanted to know how many babies we were going to have and, as we're making cookies, how I would be splitting up the batter eating ("can I have the bowl and give the little kids the beaters??").
And then it changed. Apparently. NG gets an email from BM, saying she's concerned about his relationship with TD and would like to talk to him about it. TD is telling her she doesn't want to come visit, that her dad doesn't love her, and that she's scared of him. All of this is BRAND NEW INFORMATION to NG and me. I was, however, very impressed with her email. It was very rational and constructive, as was (apparently) their conversation this morning. BM told her that her dad loves her very much, and that she is going to have to learn to share her parents with other people. I was AMAZED at her support of our relationship, and really very impressed, particularly in light of the fact that she is not dating! She doesn't have a dog in that fight right now, as the saying goes, and could have totally fed that insecure feeling in TD. As far as TD being scared of NG, once they talked about it, it sounded more like NG needing to learn some more creative parenting skills and stop yelling. Handy that he's dating a family therapist, I used to teach that! My understanding is that yelling and threatening were primary techniques in his family growing up, and he's really interested in learning some alternate techniques. I started talking about timers and sticker charts and went on and on and on. I love that stuff!
Next obstacle? NG wants to have TD 1/2 time, equal to the time her mom has her. It was actually my idea.......I think part of TD's issue right now is a lack of consistency. As I've complained about discussed before, the custody thing changes quickly and without warning. It's hard for me, and I'm a grown up. Having two sets of rules with two parents and not knowing when you're staying where is going to take a toll on an 8yo. If they alternate weeks, things will be more consistent for TD in the long term. At least that's what I think. Selfishly, it will also be more consistent for me in the short term! Everybody wins! BM's initial reaction was "but I'll miss her!!!", to which NG said "ummm.....do you think I don't miss her??" So we'll see.
All continues to be well though. NG and I continue to be very much in love and planning a future. I did NOT get a ring for Christmas, as had occurred to me, but it continues to be a topic of conversation. He still wants to get married this Fall, to which I say tick tock, NG, tick tock.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Long time....
....no blog! Been super duper busy. I'm staying at NG's quite a bit since it's so much closer to my new job. I stay there whenever TD isn't there for the most part. It's great to be closer to work, the living out of a bag situation is getting kind of ridiculous. I just keep losing stuff!! I'll think I brought it, but then it's nowhere to be found. I've been watching my niece and nephew some at their house, to add to the insanity, so now I've forgotten stuff at their house, NG's house, AND my house. I now have bottles of contact solution at all three houses. I've been pretty frustrated with the whole situation.
Then last week, out of nowhere, NG starts talking about "not rushing into anything", complete with references to the ex-wife. The whole rambling, mumbling tangent tripped every abandonment trigger I have and I immediately emotionally backed up. I told him that it bothered me, he tried to explain that it isn't me, but that he's concerned about starting a family on his current income. Understandable, but holy God don't start a conversation about money with indications that you're running away as fast as you can!!!!!!
To add to the lingering doubt from that little situation, last night I got an email from my step mother, telling me that she and my dad are making some (sound like fun wish I could go) plans for the Spring and "are you making any big plans we should plan around". I thought it was very sweet of her to ask, and I showed my response to NG. I told her that we didn't have any plans for the Spring and that, since I'm not currently sporting anything sparkly, I didn't expect any "big plans" until at least Fall. When NG read that, he gave me a funny look. I, of course, took that look to mean "don't hold your breath for Fall" and began the second flip out in two weeks. God bless my sister-in-law for listening to me whine and catastrophize, then being very reasonable and sane. Tonight I talked to NG and learned that getting married in the Fall is exactly what he's thinking and wherever did I get the idea that it wasn't??? Ummmm.....from my own paranoid head? Yeah, guess so. *sigh* Maybe one day I'll actually believe that he isn't going anywhere.
As far as TD goes, all is quiet. I stayed at NG's house with her there Saturday night, which I never do. It was 32 degrees and raining, which is just sketchy particularly in my car, so I slept on the couch with my puppy and life was good. Just to be clear, NG offered to let me take the bed, but he hadn't slept well the night before so I insisted on the couch. Chivalry isn't dead. :-)
A few weeks ago she got pretty mouthy with me, but responded well when I set a limit. The consistent message is that she's going to be respectful, and that's not negotiable. After that she's been just fine. She gets jealous, literally squeezes in between us sometimes, but that seems very normal to me for her age. She told me Saturday, as she's told me before, that her dad has been much nicer since I've been around. I asked her if she knew why that was, which she didn't, so I told her it's because we make each other so happy. Happy dads are nice dads! She thought that sounded pretty reasonable.
NG and I are headed to my dad and stepmom's house this weekend for our family Christmas party. It should be a lot of fun, and he really enjoys being there. He wants to move there, which means more to me than I can really express, and just wants to try to wait for TD to graduate high school before we do. I have never been with someone who wants to live there with me, it's amazing.
Then last week, out of nowhere, NG starts talking about "not rushing into anything", complete with references to the ex-wife. The whole rambling, mumbling tangent tripped every abandonment trigger I have and I immediately emotionally backed up. I told him that it bothered me, he tried to explain that it isn't me, but that he's concerned about starting a family on his current income. Understandable, but holy God don't start a conversation about money with indications that you're running away as fast as you can!!!!!!
To add to the lingering doubt from that little situation, last night I got an email from my step mother, telling me that she and my dad are making some (sound like fun wish I could go) plans for the Spring and "are you making any big plans we should plan around". I thought it was very sweet of her to ask, and I showed my response to NG. I told her that we didn't have any plans for the Spring and that, since I'm not currently sporting anything sparkly, I didn't expect any "big plans" until at least Fall. When NG read that, he gave me a funny look. I, of course, took that look to mean "don't hold your breath for Fall" and began the second flip out in two weeks. God bless my sister-in-law for listening to me whine and catastrophize, then being very reasonable and sane. Tonight I talked to NG and learned that getting married in the Fall is exactly what he's thinking and wherever did I get the idea that it wasn't??? Ummmm.....from my own paranoid head? Yeah, guess so. *sigh* Maybe one day I'll actually believe that he isn't going anywhere.
As far as TD goes, all is quiet. I stayed at NG's house with her there Saturday night, which I never do. It was 32 degrees and raining, which is just sketchy particularly in my car, so I slept on the couch with my puppy and life was good. Just to be clear, NG offered to let me take the bed, but he hadn't slept well the night before so I insisted on the couch. Chivalry isn't dead. :-)
A few weeks ago she got pretty mouthy with me, but responded well when I set a limit. The consistent message is that she's going to be respectful, and that's not negotiable. After that she's been just fine. She gets jealous, literally squeezes in between us sometimes, but that seems very normal to me for her age. She told me Saturday, as she's told me before, that her dad has been much nicer since I've been around. I asked her if she knew why that was, which she didn't, so I told her it's because we make each other so happy. Happy dads are nice dads! She thought that sounded pretty reasonable.
NG and I are headed to my dad and stepmom's house this weekend for our family Christmas party. It should be a lot of fun, and he really enjoys being there. He wants to move there, which means more to me than I can really express, and just wants to try to wait for TD to graduate high school before we do. I have never been with someone who wants to live there with me, it's amazing.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
"I already have a mom..........
.......and I don't have to listen to her!"
And so it begins. We'd be skating along pretty well up until this point, a little pushback from the ex, but no major shenanigans. When NG picked TD up last week, this is what he got. Being the guy he is, he immediately tells her that yes, she does in fact have to listen to me, and that we're clear that she already has a mom. He sent me a text to apprise me of the situation, good collaborator that he is, and gave her the 'no one is trying to replace your mom' united front that we agreed upon. This appeared to be what she needed to hear, as her attitude totally changed within about 10 minutes.
However...........last night when he picked her up, he got a similar attitude. She got the same response and a dictate that she will be respectful. After refusing to say hello to me when she came in, and sulking in her room for about 10 minutes, she came into the kitchen and was totally pleasant for the rest of the evening. We had dinner, talked about the concert she's going to tonight, made cookies, played with the dog, and had a super fun pillow fight. It seems as though when she's around me, she's fine. She's never mouthed-off to me, been disrespectful, or anything. The worst thing she's done is sulk!
I am lucky to have a very close girlfriend who's been where TD is now, and she gives me some really good insight. It's easy to forget how hard it is on TD to go back and forth between houses on an irregular schedule, between parents who schedule visitation through her (I'm working on that) and now to suddenly have to share her dad (only child) with this crazy woman who bakes for no good reason and is (apparently) nothing like her mother.
It seems to be taking a toll on me, this in-between place I'm in. In-between has never been my strong suit, neither has flexibility, which is required if you're going to live in-between. I'm basically living in two houses.....the commute to my new job (which I love by the way) is less than 1/2 the time from his house than from mine. I don't feel good about staying over when TD is there, though, so that means that my schedule revolves around hers, which is very irregular. This week is a good example.......I was all excited to sleep in the same bed from Friday night through Tuesday night. I had all my stuff packed, meals planned, etc, and on Sunday night I find out that NG is getting TD Monday night. Grrrrrrrrr. So I have to repack my stuff and head home last night. Luckily TD looooooves my dog, so I didn't have to shuffle her between the houses this morning on my way in to work. NG and I live about 35min apart. Not terrible, but not next door either. I got home last night at 8p and left this morning at 6a. It's not a huge deal once, but it just keeps happening. Maybe I'm being whiny. NG did apologize for not keeping me in the visitation loop, but I'm not sure anyone is in the visitation loop! I think they just make it up as they go along! Not easy for me, and I doubt it's easy for TD.
Ok, so enough gripping and complaining. I love my new job, I love NG, he is looking forward to going with me to my dad and stepmom's this week for Thanksgiving, we're going to make a mini-Thanksgiving for the three of us this weekend, and my life is really very good. Incidentally, this has given me much greater insight into my own stepmom's struggles with me, and I was 25 when I got her!
And so it begins. We'd be skating along pretty well up until this point, a little pushback from the ex, but no major shenanigans. When NG picked TD up last week, this is what he got. Being the guy he is, he immediately tells her that yes, she does in fact have to listen to me, and that we're clear that she already has a mom. He sent me a text to apprise me of the situation, good collaborator that he is, and gave her the 'no one is trying to replace your mom' united front that we agreed upon. This appeared to be what she needed to hear, as her attitude totally changed within about 10 minutes.
However...........last night when he picked her up, he got a similar attitude. She got the same response and a dictate that she will be respectful. After refusing to say hello to me when she came in, and sulking in her room for about 10 minutes, she came into the kitchen and was totally pleasant for the rest of the evening. We had dinner, talked about the concert she's going to tonight, made cookies, played with the dog, and had a super fun pillow fight. It seems as though when she's around me, she's fine. She's never mouthed-off to me, been disrespectful, or anything. The worst thing she's done is sulk!
I am lucky to have a very close girlfriend who's been where TD is now, and she gives me some really good insight. It's easy to forget how hard it is on TD to go back and forth between houses on an irregular schedule, between parents who schedule visitation through her (I'm working on that) and now to suddenly have to share her dad (only child) with this crazy woman who bakes for no good reason and is (apparently) nothing like her mother.
It seems to be taking a toll on me, this in-between place I'm in. In-between has never been my strong suit, neither has flexibility, which is required if you're going to live in-between. I'm basically living in two houses.....the commute to my new job (which I love by the way) is less than 1/2 the time from his house than from mine. I don't feel good about staying over when TD is there, though, so that means that my schedule revolves around hers, which is very irregular. This week is a good example.......I was all excited to sleep in the same bed from Friday night through Tuesday night. I had all my stuff packed, meals planned, etc, and on Sunday night I find out that NG is getting TD Monday night. Grrrrrrrrr. So I have to repack my stuff and head home last night. Luckily TD looooooves my dog, so I didn't have to shuffle her between the houses this morning on my way in to work. NG and I live about 35min apart. Not terrible, but not next door either. I got home last night at 8p and left this morning at 6a. It's not a huge deal once, but it just keeps happening. Maybe I'm being whiny. NG did apologize for not keeping me in the visitation loop, but I'm not sure anyone is in the visitation loop! I think they just make it up as they go along! Not easy for me, and I doubt it's easy for TD.
Ok, so enough gripping and complaining. I love my new job, I love NG, he is looking forward to going with me to my dad and stepmom's this week for Thanksgiving, we're going to make a mini-Thanksgiving for the three of us this weekend, and my life is really very good. Incidentally, this has given me much greater insight into my own stepmom's struggles with me, and I was 25 when I got her!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Wow
Big happenings since my last post!
NG and I went to Georgia to see his sisters and (some of) their kids. I think they liked me, at least that's what NG said. Having mad baby skills helps...... when you can get a cranky 1yo to take a nap you get HUGE points. I thanked my sister-in-law for that. We had a really good time, and I like his sisters. TD was moody, but overall pretty good. She greeted me with a HUGE hug on Friday when I met them at NG's house, and I got another big hug Sunday morning. She stayed with her cousin on Saturday, which was nice. Usually when TD is with her cousin bad things happen, hair gets cut, mischief ensues, but this time they were very good. TD does relatively well with behavioral corrections from me, and I think I have NG to thank for that since he backs me up. She continues to try to 'tattle' on me, telling NG that I told her not to do something, and he continues to tell her that my rules are his rules. On the car ride home she asked when we are getting married, if we had sent the invitations out, and why we hadn't. NG explained that he had to ASK me to marry him, to which she replied "Hey Courtney will you marry my dad?" Cute as pie. We told her that is a decision we have to make and we'd keep her posted, she was temporarily seemingly satisfied with that. When we got back on Sunday, and I asked NG to drop me off to grocery shop while he took NG to her mom's. I want to meet bio-mom on my (ie. NG's house) turf, not on hers. NG is trying to renegotiate some visitation and financial stuff, and I'm seeing fireworks coming. It seems as though he has made himself available to spend holidays with TD, biomom, and her family since the seperation to make things easier on TD. The result, it seems, has been confusion for TD. So now he's going to be drawing some boundaires and I'm guessing yours truly will get the brunt of that. I hope I'm wrong.
Today I started my new job. I didn't sleep well AT ALL last night.....dreams about showing up at the wrong job and trapsing about in a bathing suit at work. Anxiety anyone????? I have never worked in a city, and now I'm smack dab in the middle of one. That's a much bigger adjustment than the job itself. I got lost twice, once on my way back from my car, once on my way to my car. Pitiful. I walked in my building 4 times before I made it to my office. NG led me (in his car) to my parking garage so I wouldn't get lost, then came to take me out for lunch to avoid first-day social awkwardness with the new work folks. No prompting, all his idea. So impressed AGAIN. I like my new coworkers, and the job itself seems like a cakewalk compared to my last one. Much less paperwork, fewer legalities, less severe issues.
So change, change everywhere. I'm trying really hard to enjoy it and not worry, but as my dreams indicate, there's quite a bit of anxiety associated with all of it. We talk about our future as if it's a foregone conclusion, down to whether TD is considered my dependent or not as far as my benefits at my new job. It seems totally insane and totally sane all at once. What's a girl to do????
NG and I went to Georgia to see his sisters and (some of) their kids. I think they liked me, at least that's what NG said. Having mad baby skills helps...... when you can get a cranky 1yo to take a nap you get HUGE points. I thanked my sister-in-law for that. We had a really good time, and I like his sisters. TD was moody, but overall pretty good. She greeted me with a HUGE hug on Friday when I met them at NG's house, and I got another big hug Sunday morning. She stayed with her cousin on Saturday, which was nice. Usually when TD is with her cousin bad things happen, hair gets cut, mischief ensues, but this time they were very good. TD does relatively well with behavioral corrections from me, and I think I have NG to thank for that since he backs me up. She continues to try to 'tattle' on me, telling NG that I told her not to do something, and he continues to tell her that my rules are his rules. On the car ride home she asked when we are getting married, if we had sent the invitations out, and why we hadn't. NG explained that he had to ASK me to marry him, to which she replied "Hey Courtney will you marry my dad?" Cute as pie. We told her that is a decision we have to make and we'd keep her posted, she was temporarily seemingly satisfied with that. When we got back on Sunday, and I asked NG to drop me off to grocery shop while he took NG to her mom's. I want to meet bio-mom on my (ie. NG's house) turf, not on hers. NG is trying to renegotiate some visitation and financial stuff, and I'm seeing fireworks coming. It seems as though he has made himself available to spend holidays with TD, biomom, and her family since the seperation to make things easier on TD. The result, it seems, has been confusion for TD. So now he's going to be drawing some boundaires and I'm guessing yours truly will get the brunt of that. I hope I'm wrong.
Today I started my new job. I didn't sleep well AT ALL last night.....dreams about showing up at the wrong job and trapsing about in a bathing suit at work. Anxiety anyone????? I have never worked in a city, and now I'm smack dab in the middle of one. That's a much bigger adjustment than the job itself. I got lost twice, once on my way back from my car, once on my way to my car. Pitiful. I walked in my building 4 times before I made it to my office. NG led me (in his car) to my parking garage so I wouldn't get lost, then came to take me out for lunch to avoid first-day social awkwardness with the new work folks. No prompting, all his idea. So impressed AGAIN. I like my new coworkers, and the job itself seems like a cakewalk compared to my last one. Much less paperwork, fewer legalities, less severe issues.
So change, change everywhere. I'm trying really hard to enjoy it and not worry, but as my dreams indicate, there's quite a bit of anxiety associated with all of it. We talk about our future as if it's a foregone conclusion, down to whether TD is considered my dependent or not as far as my benefits at my new job. It seems totally insane and totally sane all at once. What's a girl to do????
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Shoes
We are going to NG's sister's this weekend in another city, taking TD with us. Something about the days he had her last week and will have her this week didn't fit in BM's head correctly and she fussed about it. Nevermind that NG is supposed to have TD two weekdays on the weeks he doesn't have her for the weekend, which never happens. I'm not sure what her issue was about the child support, but knowing that she makes roughly double what NG makes I can't imagine she's waiting on it to buy groceries or anything. Verdict? She's getting pissy because she knows he's moving on. They've been divorced for several years, but he hasn't been serious about someone since. So now I'm wondering how fussy she's going to get. Stick strictly to the visitation schedule fussy or do her best to ruin our lives fussy?
On positive notes, NG went to my hometown with me this past weekend. I wonder when I will stop being so amazed by him. Friday morning some fire alarms were going off in one of my dad and stepmom's rental houses. We were hung over from the ball game the night before, but NG VOLUNTEERED to go check it out with my dad. It wasn't a fire, it was an electrical issue with the alarms, and NG is an electrician, so it made sense for him to go but I was SO impressed. I think my dad was, too, but he didn't mention it to me. He really loved the farm, and wants to move there as soon as TD is out of high school. I can't even express how much that means to me.
In additional wonderment.......I have a cold. It's not a big deal, it's not the flu, it's just a head cold. I have never been taken care of by a man like he has been taking care of me. He was all worried that he was going to run out of tissues last night. He got me juice, made me tea, gave me medicine, rubbed my head, and didn't make icky faces when I blew my nose. My dog was sprayed by a skunk a few days ago, despite a good bath she was still stinky, and he would NOT let me give her a bath, he was irritated that I would even think about it. "I'll do it, you're sick!" It was the sweetest thing. He talked to her the whole time......called her "stinky butt", told her she was a good girl for not shaking on him, just so sweet. I was again totally impressed.
Oh, and the other shoe thing? I'm finishing up my job this week, start my new one on Monday. I can tell I don't really care about being here anymore because I keep wearing my casual shoes. :-)
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Lovely
Well things continue on at their lovely pace. NG met my brother, sister-in-law, and their kids (3yo girl and 6yo boy) this past weekend. It went swimingly. We had dinner, a few beers, watched some football, and just generally chilled. He got the seal of approval from them, my brother's only reservation being his fear of me getting kicked in the face again. When my s-i-l told him that NG is the one talking more about marriage and babies than I am, that fear seemed to disappear. We're heading to my hometown tonight to meet my dad and stepmom, along with a bunch of hometown folks who have basically known me since I came into the world. No pressure.
I've been spending more time with TD and so far only minor indications of step-shenanigans. We were shopping on Monday and she went into her dad's dressing room and told him I left her by herself. He, knowing me and knowing his daughter, didn't believe her and didn't even flinch. When she came out and told me this, I just told her it wasn't okay to lie. No fireworks, no crap, just successful limit-testing.
I'm so impressed with NG's parenting skills. He's an authoritative parent, by broad category, in that his expectations for her behavior are pretty high and so is his level of warmth and affection. For example.......as we're driving to the mall she's telling this clearly exaggerated story about her teacher 'picking on' her and being 'mean' to her, etc., etc., etc. Not abnormal for an 8yo, and clearly a test of how we would handle this. So I put on my therapist hat, asked some information-seeking questions, discovering (of course) many behaviors of TD that caused the teacher to call her down. NG jumps right in, similar questions, comments, etc., and holds her (not the teacher) responsible for her behavior. I was so impressed. There was no yelling or belittling and there was also no placating or apeasing. I teach parenting, and THIS is what I ask parents to do! I think a big part of our success as parent and stepparent is going to hinge on his tolerance or lack of tolerance of any behaviors she might throw my way. I'm hearing lots of stories of very permissive fathers making step situations unbearable, so far he's backing me up, and that makes me hopeful.
I've been spending more time with TD and so far only minor indications of step-shenanigans. We were shopping on Monday and she went into her dad's dressing room and told him I left her by herself. He, knowing me and knowing his daughter, didn't believe her and didn't even flinch. When she came out and told me this, I just told her it wasn't okay to lie. No fireworks, no crap, just successful limit-testing.
I'm so impressed with NG's parenting skills. He's an authoritative parent, by broad category, in that his expectations for her behavior are pretty high and so is his level of warmth and affection. For example.......as we're driving to the mall she's telling this clearly exaggerated story about her teacher 'picking on' her and being 'mean' to her, etc., etc., etc. Not abnormal for an 8yo, and clearly a test of how we would handle this. So I put on my therapist hat, asked some information-seeking questions, discovering (of course) many behaviors of TD that caused the teacher to call her down. NG jumps right in, similar questions, comments, etc., and holds her (not the teacher) responsible for her behavior. I was so impressed. There was no yelling or belittling and there was also no placating or apeasing. I teach parenting, and THIS is what I ask parents to do! I think a big part of our success as parent and stepparent is going to hinge on his tolerance or lack of tolerance of any behaviors she might throw my way. I'm hearing lots of stories of very permissive fathers making step situations unbearable, so far he's backing me up, and that makes me hopeful.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Another weekend..........
......a new set of questions.
NG went hunting last week, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday morning. He had TD Wednesday night, so we hadn't seen each other since Tuesday. Given that it was his weekend to have NG, combined with the fact that we hadn't seen each other, meant TD and I spent some significant time together this weekend. I got to his house about 2:30p on Saturday, stayed until about 9, came back about 10 the next morning. He went on a work trip yesterday, so I left when he left about 4. TD was there all of Saturday and most of Sunday. She and I continue to get along well. She's a picky eater, but not terribly difficult to accomodate (mac and cheese with creamed corn mixed in???? eeew! but easy), and she likes to help. She is showing some jealousy, but I think that's pretty normal. When I explained it to NG, he seemed to get it. If I'm standing next to him in the kitchen, she squeezes between us; if we're sitting on the couch, she's laying across us. She also seems kind of conflicted, which I also think is pretty normal. She asked him (Sunday morning when I wasn't there) when they could spend some time together "just us", but when he told her they were going out for dinner "just us" this coming Friday, she insisted I come since I'm "part of the family now. Kinda." She asked NG last week why he and her mom couldn't get back together when they can be nice to each other now. He explained (again, she asks this every few months apparently) that they can be nice for a little while, but not for a long while. She's fine to me, though, so far. We went on a walk Saturday night, just her and I, while NG did the dishes. Asked if my dog could spend the night since I was going home and coming back in the morning. She was super excited when I told her she could help me with my holiday baking, asked me to braid her hair, wanted to help me wash aforementioned dog (who rolled in something icky), told me she thought I would be pretty when her dad and I have babies, helped us with breakfast, etc. Yell at me if any of this seems odd, I'm flying by the seat of my pants here.
The other question is how I'm supposed to interact with her mom. NG didn't invite her in Sunday when she came to get TD, and I'm pretty sure she usually comes in to get her. He said he wanted to avoid the awkwardness until he and I had a chance to talk about it. I don't think it's appropriate or healthy to pretend I'm not there or to avoid her for much longer. I'm totally out of my element here, any advice?
NG went hunting last week, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday morning. He had TD Wednesday night, so we hadn't seen each other since Tuesday. Given that it was his weekend to have NG, combined with the fact that we hadn't seen each other, meant TD and I spent some significant time together this weekend. I got to his house about 2:30p on Saturday, stayed until about 9, came back about 10 the next morning. He went on a work trip yesterday, so I left when he left about 4. TD was there all of Saturday and most of Sunday. She and I continue to get along well. She's a picky eater, but not terribly difficult to accomodate (mac and cheese with creamed corn mixed in???? eeew! but easy), and she likes to help. She is showing some jealousy, but I think that's pretty normal. When I explained it to NG, he seemed to get it. If I'm standing next to him in the kitchen, she squeezes between us; if we're sitting on the couch, she's laying across us. She also seems kind of conflicted, which I also think is pretty normal. She asked him (Sunday morning when I wasn't there) when they could spend some time together "just us", but when he told her they were going out for dinner "just us" this coming Friday, she insisted I come since I'm "part of the family now. Kinda." She asked NG last week why he and her mom couldn't get back together when they can be nice to each other now. He explained (again, she asks this every few months apparently) that they can be nice for a little while, but not for a long while. She's fine to me, though, so far. We went on a walk Saturday night, just her and I, while NG did the dishes. Asked if my dog could spend the night since I was going home and coming back in the morning. She was super excited when I told her she could help me with my holiday baking, asked me to braid her hair, wanted to help me wash aforementioned dog (who rolled in something icky), told me she thought I would be pretty when her dad and I have babies, helped us with breakfast, etc. Yell at me if any of this seems odd, I'm flying by the seat of my pants here.
The other question is how I'm supposed to interact with her mom. NG didn't invite her in Sunday when she came to get TD, and I'm pretty sure she usually comes in to get her. He said he wanted to avoid the awkwardness until he and I had a chance to talk about it. I don't think it's appropriate or healthy to pretend I'm not there or to avoid her for much longer. I'm totally out of my element here, any advice?
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