....no blog! Been super duper busy. I'm staying at NG's quite a bit since it's so much closer to my new job. I stay there whenever TD isn't there for the most part. It's great to be closer to work, the living out of a bag situation is getting kind of ridiculous. I just keep losing stuff!! I'll think I brought it, but then it's nowhere to be found. I've been watching my niece and nephew some at their house, to add to the insanity, so now I've forgotten stuff at their house, NG's house, AND my house. I now have bottles of contact solution at all three houses. I've been pretty frustrated with the whole situation.
Then last week, out of nowhere, NG starts talking about "not rushing into anything", complete with references to the ex-wife. The whole rambling, mumbling tangent tripped every abandonment trigger I have and I immediately emotionally backed up. I told him that it bothered me, he tried to explain that it isn't me, but that he's concerned about starting a family on his current income. Understandable, but holy God don't start a conversation about money with indications that you're running away as fast as you can!!!!!!
To add to the lingering doubt from that little situation, last night I got an email from my step mother, telling me that she and my dad are making some (sound like fun wish I could go) plans for the Spring and "are you making any big plans we should plan around". I thought it was very sweet of her to ask, and I showed my response to NG. I told her that we didn't have any plans for the Spring and that, since I'm not currently sporting anything sparkly, I didn't expect any "big plans" until at least Fall. When NG read that, he gave me a funny look. I, of course, took that look to mean "don't hold your breath for Fall" and began the second flip out in two weeks. God bless my sister-in-law for listening to me whine and catastrophize, then being very reasonable and sane. Tonight I talked to NG and learned that getting married in the Fall is exactly what he's thinking and wherever did I get the idea that it wasn't??? Ummmm.....from my own paranoid head? Yeah, guess so. *sigh* Maybe one day I'll actually believe that he isn't going anywhere.
As far as TD goes, all is quiet. I stayed at NG's house with her there Saturday night, which I never do. It was 32 degrees and raining, which is just sketchy particularly in my car, so I slept on the couch with my puppy and life was good. Just to be clear, NG offered to let me take the bed, but he hadn't slept well the night before so I insisted on the couch. Chivalry isn't dead. :-)
A few weeks ago she got pretty mouthy with me, but responded well when I set a limit. The consistent message is that she's going to be respectful, and that's not negotiable. After that she's been just fine. She gets jealous, literally squeezes in between us sometimes, but that seems very normal to me for her age. She told me Saturday, as she's told me before, that her dad has been much nicer since I've been around. I asked her if she knew why that was, which she didn't, so I told her it's because we make each other so happy. Happy dads are nice dads! She thought that sounded pretty reasonable.
NG and I are headed to my dad and stepmom's house this weekend for our family Christmas party. It should be a lot of fun, and he really enjoys being there. He wants to move there, which means more to me than I can really express, and just wants to try to wait for TD to graduate high school before we do. I have never been with someone who wants to live there with me, it's amazing.
