"I already have a mom..........

.......and I don't have to listen to her!" 
And so it begins.  We'd be skating along pretty well up until this point, a little pushback from the ex, but no major shenanigans.  When NG picked TD up last week, this is what he got.  Being the guy he is, he immediately tells her that yes, she does in fact have to listen to me, and that we're clear that she already has a mom.  He sent me a text to apprise me of the situation, good collaborator that he is, and gave her the 'no one is trying to replace your mom' united front that we agreed upon.  This appeared to be what she needed to hear, as her attitude totally changed within about 10 minutes.
However...........last night when he picked her up, he got a similar attitude.  She got the same response and a dictate that she will be respectful.  After refusing to say hello to me when she came in, and sulking in her room for about 10 minutes, she came into the kitchen and was totally pleasant for the rest of the evening.  We had dinner, talked about the concert she's going to tonight, made cookies, played with the dog, and had a super fun pillow fight.  It seems as though when she's around me, she's fine.  She's never mouthed-off to me, been disrespectful, or anything.  The worst thing she's done is sulk! 
I am lucky to have a very close girlfriend who's been where TD is now, and she gives me some really good insight.  It's easy to forget how hard it is on TD to go back and forth between houses on an irregular schedule, between parents who schedule visitation through her (I'm working on that) and now to suddenly have to share her dad (only child) with this crazy woman who bakes for no good reason and is (apparently) nothing like her mother. 
It seems to be taking a toll on me, this in-between place I'm in.  In-between has never been my strong suit, neither has flexibility, which is required if you're going to live in-between.  I'm basically living in two houses.....the commute to my new job (which I love by the way) is less than 1/2 the time from his house than from mine.  I don't feel good about staying over when TD is there, though, so that means that my schedule revolves around hers, which is very irregular.  This week is a good example.......I was all excited to sleep in the same bed from Friday night through Tuesday night.  I had all my stuff packed, meals planned, etc, and on Sunday night I find out that NG is getting TD Monday night.  Grrrrrrrrr.  So I have to repack my stuff and head home last night.  Luckily TD looooooves my dog, so I didn't have to shuffle her between the houses this morning on my way in to work.  NG and I live about 35min apart.  Not terrible, but not next door either.  I got home last night at 8p and left this morning at 6a.  It's not a huge deal once, but it just keeps happening.  Maybe I'm being whiny.  NG did apologize for not keeping me in the visitation loop, but I'm not sure anyone is in the visitation loop!  I think they just make it up as they go along!  Not easy for me, and I doubt it's easy for TD. 
Ok, so enough gripping and complaining.  I love my new job, I love NG, he is looking forward to going with me to my dad and stepmom's this week for Thanksgiving, we're going to make a mini-Thanksgiving for the three of us this weekend, and my life is really very good.  Incidentally, this has given me much greater insight into my own stepmom's struggles with me, and I was 25 when I got her!