"I already have a mom..........

.......and I don't have to listen to her!" 
And so it begins.  We'd be skating along pretty well up until this point, a little pushback from the ex, but no major shenanigans.  When NG picked TD up last week, this is what he got.  Being the guy he is, he immediately tells her that yes, she does in fact have to listen to me, and that we're clear that she already has a mom.  He sent me a text to apprise me of the situation, good collaborator that he is, and gave her the 'no one is trying to replace your mom' united front that we agreed upon.  This appeared to be what she needed to hear, as her attitude totally changed within about 10 minutes.
However...........last night when he picked her up, he got a similar attitude.  She got the same response and a dictate that she will be respectful.  After refusing to say hello to me when she came in, and sulking in her room for about 10 minutes, she came into the kitchen and was totally pleasant for the rest of the evening.  We had dinner, talked about the concert she's going to tonight, made cookies, played with the dog, and had a super fun pillow fight.  It seems as though when she's around me, she's fine.  She's never mouthed-off to me, been disrespectful, or anything.  The worst thing she's done is sulk! 
I am lucky to have a very close girlfriend who's been where TD is now, and she gives me some really good insight.  It's easy to forget how hard it is on TD to go back and forth between houses on an irregular schedule, between parents who schedule visitation through her (I'm working on that) and now to suddenly have to share her dad (only child) with this crazy woman who bakes for no good reason and is (apparently) nothing like her mother. 
It seems to be taking a toll on me, this in-between place I'm in.  In-between has never been my strong suit, neither has flexibility, which is required if you're going to live in-between.  I'm basically living in two houses.....the commute to my new job (which I love by the way) is less than 1/2 the time from his house than from mine.  I don't feel good about staying over when TD is there, though, so that means that my schedule revolves around hers, which is very irregular.  This week is a good example.......I was all excited to sleep in the same bed from Friday night through Tuesday night.  I had all my stuff packed, meals planned, etc, and on Sunday night I find out that NG is getting TD Monday night.  Grrrrrrrrr.  So I have to repack my stuff and head home last night.  Luckily TD looooooves my dog, so I didn't have to shuffle her between the houses this morning on my way in to work.  NG and I live about 35min apart.  Not terrible, but not next door either.  I got home last night at 8p and left this morning at 6a.  It's not a huge deal once, but it just keeps happening.  Maybe I'm being whiny.  NG did apologize for not keeping me in the visitation loop, but I'm not sure anyone is in the visitation loop!  I think they just make it up as they go along!  Not easy for me, and I doubt it's easy for TD. 
Ok, so enough gripping and complaining.  I love my new job, I love NG, he is looking forward to going with me to my dad and stepmom's this week for Thanksgiving, we're going to make a mini-Thanksgiving for the three of us this weekend, and my life is really very good.  Incidentally, this has given me much greater insight into my own stepmom's struggles with me, and I was 25 when I got her!

Wow

Big happenings since my last post!
NG and I went to Georgia to see his sisters and (some of) their kids.  I think they liked me, at least that's what NG said.  Having mad baby skills helps...... when you can get a cranky 1yo to take a nap you get HUGE points.  I thanked my sister-in-law for that.  We had a really good time, and I like his sisters.  TD was moody, but overall pretty good.  She greeted me with a HUGE hug on Friday when I met them at NG's house, and I got another big hug Sunday morning.  She stayed with her cousin on Saturday, which was nice.  Usually when TD is with her cousin bad things happen, hair gets cut, mischief ensues, but this time they were very good.  TD does relatively well with behavioral corrections from me, and I think I have NG to thank for that since he backs me up.  She continues to try to 'tattle' on me, telling NG that I told her not to do something, and he continues to tell her that my rules are his rules.  On the car ride home she asked when we are getting married, if we had sent the invitations out, and why we hadn't.  NG explained that he had to ASK me to marry him, to which she replied "Hey Courtney will you marry my dad?"  Cute as pie.  We told her that is a decision we have to make and we'd keep her posted, she was temporarily seemingly satisfied with that.  When we got back on Sunday, and I asked NG to drop me off to grocery shop while he took NG to her mom's.  I want to meet bio-mom on my (ie. NG's house) turf, not on hers.  NG is trying to renegotiate some visitation and financial stuff, and I'm seeing fireworks coming.  It seems as though he has made himself available to spend holidays with TD, biomom, and her family since the seperation to make things easier on TD.  The result, it seems, has been confusion for TD.  So now he's going to be drawing some boundaires and I'm guessing yours truly will get the brunt of that.  I hope I'm wrong.
Today I started my new job.  I didn't sleep well AT ALL last night.....dreams about showing up at the wrong job and trapsing about in a bathing suit at work.  Anxiety anyone?????  I have never worked in a city, and now I'm smack dab in the middle of one.  That's a much bigger adjustment than the job itself.  I got lost twice, once on my way back from my car, once on my way to my car.  Pitiful.  I walked in my  building 4 times before I made it to my office.  NG led me (in his car) to my parking garage so I wouldn't get lost, then came to take me out for lunch to avoid first-day social awkwardness with the new work folks.  No prompting, all his idea.  So impressed AGAIN.  I like my new coworkers, and the job itself seems like a cakewalk compared to my last one.  Much less paperwork, fewer legalities, less severe issues.
So change, change everywhere.  I'm trying really hard to enjoy it and not worry, but as my dreams indicate, there's quite a bit of anxiety associated with all of it.  We talk about our future as if it's a foregone conclusion, down to whether TD is considered my dependent or not as far as my benefits at my new job.  It seems totally insane and totally sane all at once.  What's a girl to do????

Shoes

I think perhaps the other shoe is dropping.  NG and I have been so happy in our happy little world that I was starting to think it may not happen, but last night bio-mom (BM) gave NG some crap about visitation and child support.  This is the first time this has happened since we started dating, and may be the first time period.   
We are going to NG's sister's this weekend in another city, taking TD with us.  Something about the days he had her last week and will have her this week didn't fit in BM's head correctly and she fussed about it.  Nevermind that NG is supposed to have TD two weekdays on the weeks he doesn't have her for the weekend, which never happens.  I'm not sure what her issue was about the child support, but knowing that she makes roughly double what NG makes I can't imagine she's waiting on it to buy groceries or anything.  Verdict?  She's getting pissy because she knows he's moving on.  They've been divorced for several years, but he hasn't been serious about someone since.  So now I'm wondering how fussy she's going to get.  Stick strictly to the visitation schedule fussy or do her best to ruin our lives fussy? 
On positive notes, NG went to my hometown with me this past weekend.  I wonder when I will stop being so amazed by him.  Friday morning some fire alarms were going off in one of my dad and stepmom's rental houses.  We were hung over from the ball game the night before, but NG VOLUNTEERED to go check it out with my dad.  It wasn't a fire, it was an electrical issue with the alarms, and NG is an electrician, so it made sense for him to go but I was SO impressed.  I think my dad was, too, but he didn't mention it to me.  He really loved the farm, and wants to move there as soon as TD is out of high school.  I can't even express how much that means to me. 
In additional wonderment.......I have a cold.  It's not a big deal, it's not the flu, it's just a head cold.  I have never been taken care of by a man like he has been taking care of me.  He was all worried that he was going to run out of tissues last night.  He got me juice, made me tea, gave me medicine, rubbed my head, and didn't make icky faces when I blew my nose.  My dog was sprayed by a skunk a few days ago, despite a good bath she was still stinky, and he would NOT let me give her a bath, he was irritated that I would even think about it.  "I'll do it, you're sick!"  It was the sweetest thing.  He talked to her the whole time......called her "stinky butt", told her she was a good girl for not shaking on him, just so sweet.  I was again totally impressed. 
Oh, and the other shoe thing?  I'm finishing up my job this week, start my new one on Monday.  I can tell I don't really care about being here anymore because I keep wearing my casual shoes.  :-)