......a new set of questions.
NG went hunting last week, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday morning. He had TD Wednesday night, so we hadn't seen each other since Tuesday. Given that it was his weekend to have NG, combined with the fact that we hadn't seen each other, meant TD and I spent some significant time together this weekend. I got to his house about 2:30p on Saturday, stayed until about 9, came back about 10 the next morning. He went on a work trip yesterday, so I left when he left about 4. TD was there all of Saturday and most of Sunday. She and I continue to get along well. She's a picky eater, but not terribly difficult to accomodate (mac and cheese with creamed corn mixed in???? eeew! but easy), and she likes to help. She is showing some jealousy, but I think that's pretty normal. When I explained it to NG, he seemed to get it. If I'm standing next to him in the kitchen, she squeezes between us; if we're sitting on the couch, she's laying across us. She also seems kind of conflicted, which I also think is pretty normal. She asked him (Sunday morning when I wasn't there) when they could spend some time together "just us", but when he told her they were going out for dinner "just us" this coming Friday, she insisted I come since I'm "part of the family now. Kinda." She asked NG last week why he and her mom couldn't get back together when they can be nice to each other now. He explained (again, she asks this every few months apparently) that they can be nice for a little while, but not for a long while. She's fine to me, though, so far. We went on a walk Saturday night, just her and I, while NG did the dishes. Asked if my dog could spend the night since I was going home and coming back in the morning. She was super excited when I told her she could help me with my holiday baking, asked me to braid her hair, wanted to help me wash aforementioned dog (who rolled in something icky), told me she thought I would be pretty when her dad and I have babies, helped us with breakfast, etc. Yell at me if any of this seems odd, I'm flying by the seat of my pants here.
The other question is how I'm supposed to interact with her mom. NG didn't invite her in Sunday when she came to get TD, and I'm pretty sure she usually comes in to get her. He said he wanted to avoid the awkwardness until he and I had a chance to talk about it. I don't think it's appropriate or healthy to pretend I'm not there or to avoid her for much longer. I'm totally out of my element here, any advice?
The jealousy stuff is pretty normal. The wanting mom & dad to get back together is also normal. It's good to talk about it and let her know how things are (on an age appropriate level). I think you're on the right track.
ReplyDeleteAs far as meeting the ex, it really depends on your comfort level. Personally, I don't want the ex in my home. I will come to the door, greet her and be friendly, but she is not welcome in my territory. Maybe that is petty but that's how we have always handled it and it works for us.
Some moms and stepmoms can be civil or even friends. Others can't be in the same room for 5 minutes. Every situation is different. Talk to NG about it and proceed with caution. Best of luck!