This is apparently what greeted NG when he went to pick TD up from tutoring last night. (As a side note, I figured out why she goes to tutoring, she has trouble getting re-started after the summer, so she goes for the first couple months to get on track.) NG was congratulated on his marriage by the tutor. His marriage you say????? Yes. Apparently TD is telling everyone that her dad is either getting married or has gotten married, he couldn't really tell. Um....hello awkward situation! Yes, we're seriously talking about marriage, it's really an assumption at this point, but I have no essential hardware. It's not official until there's hardware and a date. I wouldn't expect her to understand that, of course, but hopefully he explained something similar to her. She was surprised and apparently disappointed that I was not there when she got there last night. NG is going out of town a lot in the next few weeks, so I thought it would be good for them to have some time by themselves. I'll see her some this weekend anyway. It's wonderful that she is so welcoming of me, and I'm definitely not looking a step-horse in the mouth, though a significant part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop. She was really struggling with the divorce, asking about them getting back together as late as this past spring. She told me all about the kids-in-the-midst-of-divorce group she was in with the guidance counselor at school, The Pink Group, it was apparently called. She said it helped a lot, but seriously, where's the backlash????
So this brings up some interesting questions.............Has she relayed the same (mis)information to her mom? School personnel? What would be an 8yo daughter's role in a wedding? Does there have to be a backlash or am I just cynical?
It sounds like she likes you and wants you to be part of her family. Although, she's rushing things a bit and she should know it's inappropriate to lie about dad's marital status.
ReplyDeleteThere's no need to rush into marriage - becoming a stepmom is HUGE and certainly not easy. The backlash definitely comes with teenagers. I recommend you do a lot of reading before taking the leap.
I too, am waiting for the backlash. I have had NOTHING but positivity from the Squirt. I was a stepchild, and I HATED both my Dad's new wife, and mum's boyfriend so I reckon I could be up against the wall without too much warning with the Squirt.
ReplyDeleteHowever, perhaps we are being too cynical. I mean, perhaps we're underestimating ourselves, and we really are that awesome! I hope that's the case, but I suppose we'll see :)
Good luck - it'll be a while before I am on the marriage track, *sigh* IF EVER, as my guy is still married. Yes. That's what I said. Separation dates are a pain the in rectum in NZ. He has another YEAR. Can I wait that long? Depends. Things are good, and I'm not ready. But.
Anyway, I'd go with the 'you're awesome, and there will be no backlash' until proven otherwise. Although stay on your guard! XX
Enjoy every day for what it is. Maybe the other shoe will drop, maybe it won't. No one knows and so just have fun with it all. Whatever you feel, whenever you feel it is totally normal. (I wish I had someone tell me that eons ago but I'm still here nevertheless!) - G
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