Thursday, January 13, 2011

The honeymoon, the holidays, and the renovating

One of these days I hope to get good enough at this to remember to do it more regularly.  I was on a roll there for a while! 
Our honeymoon was AWESOME.  It was exactly what we needed and exactly what it was supposed to be, time for us to connect and bond as a couple.  We're going to try to take a vacation, just us, at least once a year for the health of our relationship.  Not a St. Lucia vacation, mind you, just a long weekend.  Maybe we'll do a big one every 5 years.  This is one of those great things about marrying a man who has been married before.....he knows what doesn't work.  Putting your children before your marriage doesn't work.  Never being without your children doesn't work.  Basically, trading your marriage for a family doesn't work.  Marriage and family experts will tell you that, and if you look for them you'll see examples all around.  If you focus on the health of your marriage, your family will be healthy, too.  To paraphrase an old saying, if mama and daddy ain't happy, no one's happy.
We got back from our honeymoon a week and a half before Christmas.  Guess who, apparently in a happy newlywed haze, volunteered to host Christmas dinner???????  Yeah, that would be me.  The dinner wasn't the problem, the house was.  It was a mess.  I spent 2 solid days just cleaning.  It's amazing how much of a mess can be made when no one's home.  Then there was the cooking.  I can't just make dinner, I have to MAKE dinner when we have company.  Ham with an apple rosemary glaze, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, green salad, baked apples, and homemade creme brulee for dessert.  It was super yummy, even to my constantly critical brother.
And now onto the renovation.  When did bankers become so stupid?  "We can loan you $50,000 if you can bring $25,000 to the table."  Ummm.........if I had $25k we wouldn't be having this conversation you dumbass.  The general contractor's wife has bone cancer, so the window installation has started but isn't finished and it's January so that's a cold endeavor to begin with.  It's.......well........it's a home renovation, it's pretty much par for the course.
There is, of course, the ever-present custody situation.  A few months ago, as you will recall here TD said she wanted to spend more time with us.  TM tabled it until after the holidays.  Lo and behold, she has changed her mind.  I'm sure the uninterrupted week home alone with TM right before this massive switch had nothing to do with it.  Riiiiiight.  TM said she didn't want to tell NG because she didn't want to hurt his feelings.  All we told her was that she doesn't need to worry about hurting our feelings (underlying message: we are not emotionally dependent on you, you are not your dad's BFF, we're stable adults), that she can tell us anything, and that she is loved.  Hello, High Road, good to see you!

3 comments:

  1. Welcome to stepmotherhood :)
    Glad your honeymoon was great. Take one of those every year!

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  2. I missed you--welcome back. :o)

    B and I are continuously working on our marriage. IT comes first. I ADORE my girls. They are my life. However, they will eventually leave home. If we have made THEM our focus, WE will have nothing in common and no connector when they have gone. Seems like a bad plan to me...

    I'm happy to hear all is pretty much well--minus the home renovation, of course. Hang in there on that one.

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  3. Welcome back! Glad you had a great trip!

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